Saturday, September 6, 2014

While not horse rescue related, today is a very sad day at SCR.  Today we had to make the very difficult decision to have OJ, our barn dog, laid to rest.  While it is never easy to make that decision, my experience with Andy taught me an important lesson.  When Andy was colicing, at 1am Doc B said he only had 10% chance.  I was supposed to call Doc if Andy showed any sign of discomfort.  Doc had sedated him heavily and if anything was going to help him untwist his intestines it was being sedated this strong.  I woke up every half hour through the rest of the night, which I will never regret.  I checked on him faithfully.  He was up and down.  He would show some signs of hope, but it was clear the pain was too much for him.  I keep hoping the next time I came out he would be ok.  I prayed for any sign, he peed and I wanted that to say he would be ok, but his laying down and pacing told me I knew he would not recover.  Finally at 5:30 I went out, he was down.  It was light out then and I saw him covered in sweat, he looked tired, his eye told me he was done.  I called Doc.  I pet him and prayed in those next 20 minutes he would rebound.  I cut his mane for Freddie to have but could not cut a lot in case he turned around I didn't want his mane to look funny.  My mind knew he was done, my heart prayed he would come around.  Looking back he should have been laid to rest at 1am.  The 10% was for me, not really for him.  With OJ I could not keep him alive for me.  I took him on one last run with the mule, gave him one last good meal, and then said goodbye.  As hard as it is I won't keep that 10% for me ever again.  It's not fair, its selfish. I won't be selfish again!